O.k. so, when Nathan Allan Schwartz approached me about writing a weekly column for Five 2 One magazine, an idea popped into my head, and voila— here we are!
But just so we’re clear, I honestly have absolutely no idea how far down the rabbit hole I’m actually willing to go with this thing here, because I’m flying by the seat of my pants. So much so, I just slapped two idioms and three adverbs in that last sentence and I don’t even fuckin’ care, I’m leaving ’em in, because I’m zany like that.
Besides, I’m writing this predominantly for the fun of it, and my main objective is to entertain you and myself at the same time. So, I’ve made somewhat of an executive decision to try my best to use words and phrases in this column that I tend to use on a daily basis, because prim and proper nomenclature really ain’t my thing, and for the most part, I think it’s somewhat boring as fuck.
So, with that said, if you do decide to check in on Six Inches of Glory: A Quasi-Serial Adventure by Charles Joseph from time to time, or better yet every week, my best advice is to just try to imagine you’re reading a scene from Forrest Gump that hit the cutting room floor, because Gump said some really silly shit, like: Mama says boudoir is French for anal.
Anyway, that’s all for now boys and girls. Tune in next week, where I’ll be discussing how my wife K and I try our best to make ordinary run of the mill American movie titles sound like bonafide German Shizer films.
Later on, and I hope you enjoyed my six inches.
P.S. Have you ever noticed that most toddlers have really big fuckin’ heads? Think about it….