20 Things Channel 4 Doesn’t Teach You About OCD
1.We’re not just tenacious hand-washers who spend our spare time (i.e. when hands aren’t being washed) scrubbing the floors and colour-coordinating our wardrobes.
2. Beleve it or nt, soome of uss arent anaal abouut making perfecct nottes.
3. In fact, there isn’t really an us to speak of, just bodies drifting in an ocean of dread among sharks, piranhas, used tampons, and jellyfish.
4. My Google history reads like a list of the damned: civic law, Freudian theory.
5. You can’t catch hepatitis C from sea-creatures.
6. I once convinced myself – against all logic and evidence – that I was capable of harming everybody I love.
7. My criminal record is as clean as you expect my bedroom to be.
8. For the record, it hurt like hell.
9. If I say that I ran someone over, please take it with a pinch of salt. My driving’s not great, but neither’s my memory, so it might have been a pothole, or just a thought beginning to vibrate.
10. The brain is elastic, like a gymnast, and gymnast’s fall.
11. Never ask me, “is it cured yet?”
12. Thinking back, it didn’t feel like a pothole…
13. Howard Hughes is not my idol, nor is J.K. Rowling, nor Howie Mandell.
14. If anything, it’s Nick Cave.
15. Maybe I was born with a propensity for doom.
16. As Good as it Gets had the right intentions, for sure, but not everyone has Helen Hunt to take the brunt of their frustrations.
17. A doctor once prescribed me drinking alcohol as exposure.
18. My parents are fucking saints.
19. The pen’s a pill you don’t need a signature for. The bitterness doesn’t stick.