February 22, 2017
February 23, 2017

Sincere Advice From a Girl Whose Life is A Mess #10 | 3 questions | Kolleen Carney

Kolleen Carney

Dearest Friends,

Apologies for my prolonged absence; I am not even going to get into the AWP nightmare I experienced two weeks back, or the plumbing debacle I experienced last week, both of which kept me away from all of my work. Things have been tiring here in Burbank, and I am excited that I was offered the opportunity to visit my son in Massachusetts this week. So that’s where I am, and that’s why this entry of Sincere Advice will be short and sweet.

Q: What is the best flavor of jam?

The answer is, of course, fig. Sandwich condiment, cheese compliment, good on bread—fig is my jam (pun intended).

Q: What HBO series (you can only pick one) should be given a second life?

My knee- jerk answer would be Six Feet Under, one of my favorite shows of all time (I recommend rewatching as often as your heart can handle it; I watched it again last year, sobbing all over my son’s head, to his great discomfort), but really the answer should be Vinyl. HBO cancelled Vinyl not long after the season ended, even though they had already renewed it for another year. Critics were tepid with it, and HBO said it underperformed, but I fucking loved it. It’s how I found out the Pink Fairies were a real band, and not something my boyfriend and his friends made up in the early 2000s to make a funny music video. Vinyl was good. Bring it back. (Runner up: Rome. That second season was so rushed and cramped. I loved that show.)

Q: What is the best kind of dog to have, if you are a Baroness living alone in a lighthouse? 

I feel like I should say a Great Dane, but my heart hollers “beagle”. A very regale beagle.

That’s all for this week, everyone! Let’s hope things get better from here on out; I can’t handle broken pipes and shitty flights.

I publish all questions with a veil of anonymity. I would never want to expose someone, especially if their question is a sensitive one, such as domestic violence, sexuality, and the like. Therefore, I may edit questions down if I feel they are too specific, but please keep in mind that I am considering the whole picture when responding to you.


The advice given is for informational purposes only and is not meant to replace the legal, financial, medical, or professional advice of trained specialists.

kolleen carney

Kolleen Carney is a Boston- born, Burbank- based poet with a B.A. from Salem State University in Salem, MA, and an MFA in Poetry from Antioch University Los Angeles. She has served on the editorial team for Soundings East, Lunch Ticket, Paper Nautilus, and Zoetic Press. Her poetry and other writings have appeared or will be appearing in Currents, Vision/ Verse, Lunch Ticket, MassPoetry.org, Golden Walkman, The Watershed Review, Incredible Sestinas, Uno Kudo Vol. 4, A Quiet Courage, Yellow Chair Review, Drunk Monkeys, Odyssey, and Five 2 One. She is obsessed with California, Pez dispensers, and macarons. Her website is www.kolleencarney.com.