These Healing Waters, They Want to Wash Over Me
I think I believe that I want an Endless Pool®, that I want to be swimming in an eddy without end against a current set at a speed of my choosing, but I’d like a little more information. Before I improve my “quality of life” and “make my dream a reality,” as the voice-over guy with the epigrammatically cosmic presence in your commercial says with conviction, before I fill in the data fields and request a free idea kit so I can confidently explore all my options as I think about who I am and who I might become if I take this perpetual journey, I have a question: Do Endless Pools really work? In the commercial, you state unequivocally that they do, that they really do, but when you say “endless,” what do you mean? Is it like looking out into a baleful sea that is deep deep blue, save for a tickle-me-pink lighthouse that receives secret transmissions from ham radio operators in, say, Abyssinia? Is it more like painting from memory a corked heart that is sinking, slowly, to the strains of a country-funk cover of In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida? Or is it more of a shallow rill that runs up behind you, regards you with contempt if it regards you at all, and rushes off into the unnumbered night, creating a wake that lifts some but not all boats and erodes whatever trust you might have had in certainty, in general, and interpersonal relationships, in particular? And: When you say that Endless Pools work, that they really work, what does “work” mean? Beyond the swimming-in-place thing, and the cardiovascular and peace dividends one might derive from same, is there a deeper purpose for this precision-engineered pool? Is it a curative portal to the subconscious? Does it have something to do with penguins? As I sit on my backwater cove of a couch, nibbling late-night grahams that are soft as suds and wondering what I’m going to wear to work tomorrow, I am on the river’s edge. Or believe I am. Soon, certainty will wash over me. I want to say that I want an Endless Pool. I want to believe I want one. Any help you can provide to convince me that I’m confident about taking this plunge would be greatly appreciated. Yours in perpetuity,
Pat Foran is a writer in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. His work has been published in WhiskeyPaper, Unbroken Journal and MoonPark Review. Find him on Twitter at @pdforan.