Hey all! Welcome to week 5 of Six Inches of Glory: A Quasi-Serial Adventure. I’m Charles Joseph, the man, the myth, the quasi-legend, and this week’s installment is about:
CREED— the latest installment in the greatest movie franchise of all time!
Now, look—regardless of what anyone says about any of the Rocky movies, I’ve loved them all. Wanna know why? Because I fuckin’ love Rocky, and when you love someone, you don’t turn your back on them— you stick with them until you die!
Of course I’ve enjoyed some of Rocky’s movies more than others, but regardless of how rough of a beating his character took in the latter half of his career, I’ve always known that sooner or later he would rise from the ashes of those movies like a great golden phoenix and set my world on fire again.
So with that said, I love you Rock, and thank you for agreeing to train Donnie, because I really think Apollo (R.I.P Champ) would be glad that you decided to take his son under your wing. I just wish Adrian, Paulie, Mick, and Duke could be here to see you guys take the title in the next movie, because I really think Donnie has the heart, skill, and desire to go the distance. I mean seriously, I like Donnie, he’s a good kid, and he listens to you, so I’m sure you guys are gonna figure out how to handle whoever they throw at you in CREED 2.
But hey Rock, look—I know you’re sick, and your son isn’t there for you because he’d rather smoke grass with his hippy girlfriend in Vancouver than carry on your legacy, but you’re Rocky Balboa—THE ITALIAN STALLION— and if you can’t beat cancer nobody can. So, regardless of how tough it’s gonna be for you to train Donnie and get well again, at least you’re not all alone anymore, because you got Donnie now, and I know in my heart that you’re gonna pull through.
But if you don’t Rock, I just want you to know that as far as I’m concerned you’re the greatest character that’s ever been penned to page, and I hope the powers that be give Donnie a chance to carry on where you left off, because he definitely has the eye of the tiger.
Well, that’s all for now boys and girls, I hope you enjoyed my six inches, and if you haven’t seen Creed yet, I suggest you do so with haste—because it’s fucking awesome!
NATHAN! CUE THE MONTAGE!
P.S. — We miss you Apollo!