Let’s start with this statement: a lot of people are not fond of adultery. Unsurprisingly it’s a sin. I have some experience with it, though. I don’t remember much of why my mother and father separated a while back, but there was another woman involved and consequently: half siblings. And I used to resent that.
But life has a strange way of twisting and turning. There are matters that we have absolutely no control over. Especially when it comes to attractions. Can’t control that. Wish we could. Then maybe you wouldn’t be stuck in an ironic fate where 5 out of 6 men you’re attracted to are in a committed relationship (because men in open relationships are not the same).
Being attracted to people in a relationship or becoming involved with someone in a relationship can definitely be a fatal attraction making that person a relationship interrupter. That being said, some people will immediately steer away from fatal attractions. Some could just have the Fear of God in them, others just don’t like to be clinging from tree branch to tree branch (thanks Mom for that metaphor). But some, stay clear of fatal attractions unless they know that the significant other is OKAY with the interruption of the relationship.
Often times the original couple involved in a fatal attraction are having issues. Or they’ve taken a break from their significant other. Or one person is blatantly lying to the other while having a second relationship outside the original relationship. The lying and betrayal can be a reason for a the perspective interrupter to steer away as well (Thanks Ferns for that angle!).
But what about the rest of us. I can say that I do get caught in the moment at times. Is it bad? Yeah it’s bad? I’m a worse person for being caught up and stuff? No, I can’t be a worse person for that..okay I am the worse person. Fire me now from all your sanctimonious reunions. Bar me from entering a church. Don’t let me be near your significant others.
Attractions are so strange and relationships are even stranger. From the perspective of someone being in a similar situation to a “dead bedroom” I pleaded, begged everyday for my significant other to find someone who could give him what I couldn’t. To find another, I wouldn’t even be upset, I believed. And it broke his heart. But I broke his heart more when I dumped him so he could find another person. Was it wrong to promote adultery too?
It was wrong when the original couple went through a hard time and broke things off. It was wrong, when I, the relationship interrupter, created a friendship with one of the two. It was wrong when he spoke the right words he probably spoke to her to woo her. It was wrong that when he reunited with her still had a friendship with me. When he said something I so badly needed to hear that one night. Powerless, he offered what I needed at that moment even when it was only a conversation that held no place in his relationship.
The draw…to being a relationship interrupter is unsettling to me. It can be so wrong by even just sending a flirtatious text to someone in a committed relationship. Or even looking at someone with a lustful eye is seen and Biblically wrong. And you have that eye, or you’re inept and can bend morals in the moment of flirtation. So you’re a monster and should be ashamed of yourself…okay that’s so drastic, but a popular opinion.
On the other hand the draw to being a relationship interrupter is much more powerful than morals and relationships. It’s what drives a man to watch the live Internet show of another man engaged in a sexual act with the status “Wife doesn’t know,” the illusion…the fantasy of deception. Trust me, she knows.
Fatal attractions are fatal for a reason. They’re not righteous, they’re not something that can be controlled. They’re something I try every day to stay away from. Intentionally or unintentionally, they exist.
Sopphey Vance the poet, yarn artist, and legend resides in South Texas where he battles dragons and unicorns for Five 2 One Magazine.