January 9, 2016
#thesideshow January 11th 2016 Circles by Christina Dalcher
January 11, 2016

#thesideshow January 10th 2016 Cache by Georgene Smith Goodin

“Look what I found.”

“Is that — ?”

“Yep. Found it while I was planting the elderberry.”

“Great.  I wonder which jackass neighbor threw that over the fence.”

“It was buried, actually. Deep, too. Definitely been there a while. Might dig around a bit more, see if there’s a whole cache of it.”

“It’s pretty messed up. I can’t tell if it’s powder that clumped or rock that deteriorated.”

“Rock, definitely rock.”

“Like you would know?”

“I had my share of fun before you.”

“Right, rock star. So I’m the square that brought you down?”

*****

“See my Facebook post?”

“Twenty-year-old dirt crack?”

“So you saw it.”

“It was kind of hard to miss. Photographing it on the mantel was a little over the top.”

“Why? That’s where we put all the treasures this house coughs up.”

“Treasure might be too strong of a term.  It’s not like it’s jewelry or a pottery shard. It’s…twenty-year-old dirt crack.”

“Twenty-year-old dirt crack…kinda sounds like a stripper, doesn’t it?”

“I’m not going to claim to be any kind of expert on ‘exotic dancers,’ but if I were a guy, the last thing I’d want is someone named Dirt Crack all up in my business.”

“Oh, there’re guys that would be into that.”

“Something I should know?”

“No. See Jack’s comment?”

“Possession is nine-tenths of the law?”

“That’s the one. What do you think?”

“I don’t think that expression means what Jack thinks it does.”

“Still. He’s got a point.”

“That’s rich coming from the man who put it on the mantle and posted a photo on Facebook.”

“Probably should flush it.”

“I don’t think that’s good for the ocean.”

“What? You never heard of ‘flying fish?’”

“Ha.  But seriously.  I’d just throw it out.”

“In our trash?”

“At the bus stop.”

“And if someone sees me?”

“No one’ll see you at this time of night. And if they do, you’re white. You’ll get the benefit of the doubt.”

“What’s wrong with you? You can’t say things like that.”

“I only said it to you.”

*****

“Totally should have flushed it.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Nothing yet. But the second that thing was out of my hands, I thought, ‘Who goes through the trash in our neighborhood?’”

“Homeless people.”

“Exactly.”

“Oh.”

“Oh is right. I just left the most vulnerable people in society a supply of twenty-year-old dirt crack.”

“It’s probably not even good any more.  You probably can’t even get high off it.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. But if someone tries? What if something worse than getting high happens?”

“Oh.”

“Oh is right. I’m going back for it.”

“What if someone sees you?”

“I’m white, remember? I’ll get the benefit of the doubt.”

“I’m going with you. Let me get a flashlight.”

*****

“Can you shine that a little more this way?”

“Hi, Officer.”

“Not funny.”

“I couldn’t resist. Where do you want the light?”

“There.”

“I don’t see it. Did someone already take it?”

“Doubt it. Shoved the bag down a bit, so you wouldn’t notice it just passing by.”

“And you couldn’t have thought about the homeless people then? You had to wait till after you buried it to have that newsflash?”

“Says the woman who didn’t think about human beings at all, just the fishes.”

“What can I say? I’m vegan.”

“Mother fucker. Got a Kleenex?”

“Here. Ew, that’s gross.”

“Should have brought gloves.”

“Always thinking after the fact.”

“Not nice.”

“You can’t just leave that on the sidewalk.”

“Want me to throw it out now? So I have one more thing to dig past to find the dirt crack?”

“This is taking forever. How far down did you shove it?”

“Not far, I swear.  And quit shining that in my face.”

“Hi, Officer.”

“Not funny.”

“Not joking.”


Georgene Smith Goodin’s fiction has appeared in numerous publications, and has won the “Mash Stories” flash fiction competition. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband, the cartoonist Robert Goodin. When not writing, she is restoring a 1909 Craftsman bungalow with obsessive attention to historic detail. To become vicariously covered in paint, visit her blog, Goodin’s Folly.  (goodinsfolly.blogspot.com)Follow her on Twitter, @gsmithgoodin.

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