How I apologize to whoever I drank heavily with the night before
I may or may not be the Windows 95 of useless trivia knowledge
My biggest talent is sitting alone
in the corner of the bar and
the group of people nearby
who are arguing about
what the name of the artist
currently being played on the jukebox is,
and then letting them use my lighter.
BRIAN ALAN ELLIS runs House of Vlad Productions, and is the author of three novellas, three short-story collections, two books of humorous non-fiction (Sad Laughter is forthcoming from Civil Coping Mechanisms Press), and Something to Do with Self-Hate, a novel. His writing has appeared at Juked, Hobart, Monkeybicycle, Electric Literature, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, Funhouse, Heavy Feather Review, Talking Book, and Queen Mob’s Tea House, among other places. He lives in Florida, and tweets sad and clever things at both @brianalanellis and @HouseofVlad.